Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
