are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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