i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
COCAINE IS GR8
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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