Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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