Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This baby is an asshole
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
