okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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