Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
