is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
