wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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