I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
