did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
