Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
