Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
