The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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