I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
