Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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