I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
