Pappa wants mamma naked
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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