this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I did not marry a roomba.
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