So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
