i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Reggie can tackle my bush.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
