Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize