I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
