You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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