Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
last night I used snow as a chaser
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
