weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize