I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Pants are for mortals
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
