So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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