I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
