hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize