The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He felt like a one man threesome
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
