Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
