And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
