Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
