I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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