the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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