this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize