So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
