I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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