dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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