i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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