She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
