Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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