Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
