I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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