I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
