i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
