I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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