I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
