Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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