Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
