She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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