Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
