Whod you bang
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
