She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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