I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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