Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
