You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
