Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
