Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
